Recent Movie Reviews


Entertainment Entertainment

Rated 0 / 5 stars

Let's just say...

Wow. Okay, I somewhat get your point in all of this, too much gaming is a bad idea, and I completely agree with that - But you know what else? This video, and the way it is presented, is NOTHING but you telling me "fuck you, dumbass, quit fucking playing games." I can respect the message you're trying to give, but if you're going to try and spread it like THIS, then I have nothing to say but fuck you, sir.

Calling us "game freaks" is REALLY gonna help you to spread a message you feel is important, isn't it? It's insulting, and more importantly, it sounds ridiculously rude. If you're trying to tell somebody to change their ways, the WORST thing you could possibly do is insult them for it, we aren't gonna listen to you if you play it off like that, we're just gonna shove it right back in your face, with an extra "screw you" on top. On top of that, your voice actor sounds like a complete and total asshole. The entire air about him, his voice, and the things he said were COMPLETELY derogatory, rude, and downright insulting.

And for your information, do you have any idea how positive gaming can be? As long as you aren't sitting in a dark room all day staring at a screen and playing World of Warcraft, or whatever the hell else you want to do, gaming can be a GOOD thing. For example, it can improve a persons reaction time. And look at something like the army, where video games are used to teach the basics of combat to aspiring members. It's NOT a negative thing, and if you truly think so, then you need to get your head out of your ass and look at the possibilities.

Next time, if you try to spread a message like this, try doing it in a way that DOESN'T make people hate you, and DOESN'T make you look like a douchebag.


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akoRn responds:

1. i didnt conclude that u should stop playin games.
2. game freaks is use by the character of the pyscho narrator, he's into his crazy-twisted character.
3. asshole voice actor? again, he's into the role
4. i did a report bout the good side of gamin before, so i know that too.
5. im havin fun makin this, so why so serious? juz enjoy the flash.

note taken, u serious creature. :D


License to Combo: Revamp License to Combo: Revamp

Rated 4 / 5 stars

I'll give it an 8/10..

Mostly because I lol'd at the Devil May Cry voice clips. The video itself is alright. Nothing amazing, but not terrible either.



Hakumen Demonstration Hakumen Demonstration

Rated 3 / 5 stars

Where's my 632146C, damn you!

I'll admit I was excited to see some Blazblue flash going on here, but sorely disappointed at the fact that this has almost nothing to do with it. At all. You have a stickman who somewhat resembles Hakumen, and you used some Blazblue music, but that's it. The Hakumen stick didn't even fight at all, it just stood there looking cheesy while you overused text saying "Hakumen" and "The White Void." The fact that you had a character from an already established game randomly show up during this is pretty confusing, even more so considering he doesn't even seem to have much of a point for being there, seeing as he doesn't DO anything. You called this a Hakumen demonstration, and yet you had a bunch of other guys performing moves with Hakumen's hair, not even using his weapon or anything. Not only did it make no sense at all, but you seem to have simply taken an already established character, given no credit whatsoever for him, and tossed him in here for god knows what reason, maybe to try and get extra points from Blazblue fans?

I'll give you some points for the animation, which was fairly smooth and pleasant to watch, but the ideas in this have "lazy" and "unoriginal" written ALL over them, and I can't respect you using an already established character, especially for something like the RHG, which I always thought was supposed to be about ORIGINAL characters.


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Recent Game Reviews


Labyrinth: SoS Labyrinth: SoS

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Okay.. I'm going to be hated for this opinion, but I'm gonna be honest with you. This is not a good game.

Let me start with the positives. It has a solid framework, the art looks great and animates fantastically, the music is decent (JUST decent - not amazing, it does get old), and it overall has the potential to be a great game. Unfortunately, the actual GAME part is where things fall apart.

This is an extremely shallow game. You can 'finish' it in 5 minutes, get all the power ups in about 10, and have literally nothing that can challenge you anymore. Despite this, the designer expects you to play on for a long time, because apparently things get much more challenging, and all of these overpowered upgrades they give you actually become necessary rather than overkill. The problem with this lies in the way the game is designed. The levels are random, the enemies are pitifully weak, and they give you all of your overpowered gear immediately. In every possible way, this game is designed to be a short, shallow, pick up and play once kind of deal - and yet it requires much more dedication and playtime than that to 'truly experience it'. As a designer, your job is to build the game around its strengths, not force-feed unnecessary features and padding into it. Random level layouts do NOT make a game stay interesting without interesting, deep mechanics to go along with it.

Worsening this issue is the difficulty level, which is nonexistent. There is no challenge to this game after the first round, once you've become way more overpowered than you need to be at that point. This is where the randomized levels really show their failure. Without an intentionally designed course, there is no sense of progression. You start the game, and you are almost immediately bombarded with powerups; from super jumping, to rockets, gliding, wall climbing, and even the ability to break the blocks creating the world around you, there are so many things you're given access to right off the bat. The game throws EVERYTHING it has at you all at once, and then after that it feels empty and meaningless. There's nothing to entice a player to keep going, once they realize they're just going to keep getting the same powerups over and over. Hell, the powerups don't even stack. They could become more powerful if you collected more than one, at least then there would be SOME sense of progression, but there isn't. You immediately become overpowered and it takes several levels of boring, unchallenging tedium for the game to catch up with you.

Oh, but let's not forget the bandage design to keep you challenged. Acid. The acid in this game is one of the best examples of this game's worst flaws. No matter how powerful you are, how much you can decimate everything else, acid will always kill you in one hit. You can have the most powerful armor and full health, and barely dipping your toe in it means your adventure is over. I see a lot of the designer defending this decision, saying you're supposed to 'tread carefully,' but this is nothing but a bandage over a deep flesh wound. The problem is how contradictory the entire driving force behind the acid is. Here you have a game that immediately powers you up to insane levels, making you deadlier than anything you could possibly come up against, and getting you used to being able to jump around and fear nothing. Then all of a sudden you fall into a pit of acid you didn't see because the camera wasn't showing it, and just like that, it's over. This is not a failure of the player, for not being careful enough - this is a failure of the designer, for trying to input two opposing forces at once and assuming it will work out well. Spoiler alert: it doesn't.

Some of the powerups only exacerbate this issue, in particular the Super Jump Boots. I noticed in the author's responses that he even admitted not to getting those boots in his own playthroughs; so then, why, may I ask, do they even exist? Are they a punishment to the player for being too hasty to pick up something labeled as a powerup? This goes back to the opposing forces idealism in place with the acid. These boxes give you wonderful powerups that make you stronger, and then you find a super jump power. Great, you would think. Now I can jump higher and get around better. On the surface, it's a useful addition to your arsenal that should make everything easier, but it just doesn't, and the player won't figure that out until well after they pick it up. Chalking it up to the 'learning curve' to determine which powerups are best is another failure of design. The game doesn't have the depth to warrant a second playthrough, and yet it requires one to avoid its numerous design pitfalls. Again, it's a bandaid, and not a particularly effective one.

I'm not sure if the author realizes it or not, but the randomization in level design and powerups truly is what is holding this game back. When a game uses randomness, it's supposed to use it in a smart way - TRUE randomness breeds chaos, which is what this game does. Intelligent randomness still follows a path of progression, something that makes the player feel like they're accomplishing something, but prevents the game from becoming predictable. The irony in this is that the randomness applied to this game forgoes the positive effects of randomization and only takes the negative ones. The game is immediately predictable from the moment you play it; there's nothing that's ever surprising about its design. Blocks all seem practically random, and soon they become nothing but a nuisance as you get the ability to break through the world at your will. At the same time, the randomness prevents a natural sense of progression - in one game, you might start out with super jump boots and gliding, and only later find double jumping and wall climbing. The problem is, the player gets used to the abilities they start with (super jump, glide) and these are all they need to get around. But why should one ignore new powerups? So when double jumping and wall climbing are found, the player will naturally collect them, only to find out very quickly that they throw off every bit of control the player has grown accustomed to. No longer can you press jump in short bursts to slow your descent with glides; instead, you'll rocket back into the sky with another jump. You'll constantly find yourself attaching to walls you didn't want to grab, and it's not like you need them to get up higher - you already have super jumping. Abilities should COMPLIMENT a player's loadout - not harass them because they didn't realize picking up the new powerup would screw them over.

In my opinion, the designer of this game is expecting more out of their players than they're willing to give them. Don't like a powerup? Well, learn what it is and don't pick it up again. Don't like that acid kills you instantly? Well, stop using all these abilities we gave you to get around fast, instead you should go around slowly to prevent falling to your death.

Every element of this game's design is contradictory at best, game-breaking at worst. The random generation of levels and powerups pushes the game toward a 'short, single playthrough' type of game, while the learning curve of which powerups to get and how to avoid acid shove it in the other direction. With these kinds of opposing forces acting at the same time, it's only a matter of time before the train derails.

There are many points I haven't even touched on, such as how the game still gives you the lesser helmets after you pick up better ones, and allows you to literally downgrade yourself by picking them up, or how super jump boots bring you dangerously close to falling far enough to take falling damage, but I think my point has been made.

Designer; my question to you is a simple one, but one that lies at the very core of intelligent game design: Why?

Why should I care enough to play your game for more than 5 minutes, when I can see all the content it has to offer in that time period? Why should I take time out of my day to play this game? Do not mistake these questions for arrogance - they are simply questions that must be answered before a game can be considered complete.

Unfortunately, this game is anything but that. Potential abounds, and every single bit of it falls disappointingly short of greatness. I hope to see all of these ideas better utilized in a sequel or an update of some sort, but for now, this game isn't worthy of anything more than 2/5. There are simply too many opposing ideals and bandaids in place for truly good game design.


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PestoForce responds:

I think you made a lot of good points, though maybe they could have been more succinct :-P

This game was largely experimental, and definitely has flaws. That's one of the reasons I want to make a sequel, because, like you say, the concept has lots of potential, and with some tweaks I think it could be great! The progression issue is the main thing I have lots of ideas about. You're right, randomness is NOT ENOUGH!

Thanks for taking the time to review it in-depth!


Legend of JOHNNY Legend of JOHNNY

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Really? MOUSE control?

Okay, let me start off by saying that this game SEEMS really fun. I played the version on the main site, with the cutscenes, and it seems like a funny, well designed game. The voice acting was decent (not amazing, but good enough,) the sounds were pretty good, the animation and graphics were BEAUTIFUL (this is one of the few DMC-esque flash games that got the pace of the attacking animations right,) and the storyline, while simplistic, was told in an interesting way. The little bit I was able to play was enjoyable, but.. That's where we get to the bad part.

First off, this game is SERIOUSLY GLITCHY. I use the caps lock for emphasis, because jesus, I should not run in to 10 glitches in the first 5 minutes of gameplay. Adding to the glitches everybody else has been talking about (although my attacks don't seem to "queue" like others have noted,) I ended up teleporting outside the "bar" after reading the Devil's note, making it impossible to get back in and the only fix being to restart the game completely. Also, I'm not sure if it was a glitch or bad game design, but I both ended up using the dash attack when I didn't double tap a direction (or had a lengthy pause between taps,) and ended up not hitting the enemy far too often when trying to combo, even though it looked like my sword hit them. Also, it's worth nothing that I was able to run the game on High graphics without the slightest FPS drop, so lag most likely was not an issue.

Now on to my main issue.. Mouse control. Seriously? WHY did you have to do this? Why is it that keyboard control just isn't good enough for game creators anymore? I'm using a laptop, and quite frankly, this game is nearly IMPOSSIBLE to enjoy when using one. By using mouse control, not only do you have a glitchy, annoying, ridiculous combat system (you can't always guarantee if you're going to shoot or swing,) but you cut away a very large chunk of your audience by ruining somebody's chances to play the game with a laptop. I don't see why game developers think making a fast-paced action game, based around combos no less, controlled with the MOUSE is a good idea - It doesn't work in this game. It hasn't worked in any other game. It never WILL work in any game. It's truly a horrible system, and as much as I hate to get on your case so much about it, you practically ruined an otherwise exceptional game with such a god-awful combat system. One last thing I'd like to mention about the combat system - Knowing that the camera moves in a way that, when the player is falling, he is at the bottom of the screen, what exactly made you think that shooting down to slow your fall would be useful in any way? When you're falling, you pretty much CAN'T shoot down because of the camera..

I do doubt you'd take the time to go back and fix this, considering it would probably require a massive engine reworking, but I seriously suggest you at least TRY and add in a pure-keyboard gameplay system - Or at least allow you to control your sword with the keyboard. Controlling the guns with the mouse is perfectly fine. I sincerely believe keyboard control would make this game skyrocket from mediocre to fantastic.

Now, I hope you don't take me as being rude or offensive about this - I just generally tend to focus my reviews on the negative aspects so the author can improve. I truly do think this game has alot of promise, but it seems like it was released far too early and with far too little thought put into the gameplay itself. With some work, this could be an A++ game, but for now I can't give it more than a 4.5/10.

-Froodjakle


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I-smel responds:

If I used keyboard control then you wouldn't be able to aim guns.
Then if I used the mouse just for guns n left attacking to the keyboard then you'd be switching between them the whole time.
With the mouse, you switch between firing n slashing automatically depending on how far away from the enemy you are. ALSO it stops you from combo-ing off a ledge because he turns around to allways be facing the mouse.

The problem is that I've got a regular mouse (which it was made for) and you've got a touchpad, which is something completely different. I hate touchpads n I hate laptops, so sorry.


LARRY: Doug-Out LARRY: Doug-Out

Rated 2 / 5 stars

Good concept + Bad execution = Mediocre game

The kingdom of Karryon is coming together quite nicely, I have to admit, but quite frankly, this game suffers from FAR too many problems to be anything more than average.

The graphics are great. Everything animates smoothly and fits together well. Nothing to complain about here.

The music and sounds are good, although the beer pouring sound got annoying after a while. Maybe it's just me. Other than that, nothing to complain about in this category.

The gameplay is when this game starts to falter, badly. The game is good fun for the first few days, but after a while, Doug becomes STUPIDLY hard to beat, and McSweeny is FAR too slow; Upgraded weapons don't help at all when you can't even hit your target, do they? You could be using the most powerful weapon in the game and it still wouldn't make a difference; You can't repel Doug if you can't hit him, end of story. This is an absolutely game breaking problem and needs to be fixed as soon as possible.

My personal most frustrating problem with this game, is VERY often, when I go to serve a customer, the meter that allows me to click and pour them a drink disappears, making it impossible for me to pour a drink no matter how many times I click the mouse, and it won't come back until I walk ALL the way back into the storehouse, until McSweeny comes to a complete stop, and then walk all the way back, and even this doesn't work sometimes. It's a HUGE waste of the small amount of Doug-free time you get during the day, and one of this games biggest flaws.

Another thing that would've been nice is if you could click on McSweeny when he is carrying a barrel to make him drop it; I accidentally picked up a barrel early in the game, when you have very limited funds, and I had a full keg in front, but the only thing I could do is waste the ENTIRE barrel by pouring it into the already full barrel in the front.

All in all, this is a good idea that seems to have been COMPLETELY neglected during the testing phase; It's too flawed, unbalanced, and glitchy to be any fun, so until you fix those problems, this really isn't worth a good score.

Graphics: 10/10
Sound: 9/10
Gameplay: 2/10 (revised to an 8 if the aforementioned problems are fixed)

Overall score (not an average): 4/10, 2/5 (revised to an 8/10, 4/5 if issues are fixed)

Here's hoping you fix the problems; this could be a great game if you take care of it right.


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Recent Audio Reviews


Link's Barrel Beat Link's Barrel Beat

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Get this off the All Time Top Scoring list..

Don't get me wrong, this is hilarious and the animation it goes along with is fantastic, but seriously, this needs to be off the All Time Top Scoring list for the audio portal. It's so highly rated because of the comedic ANIMATION that went along with it, and all the fans of the ANIMATION coming here and rating 5, it's not like this is some masterful piece of genius that rivals the skill of Beethoven. The animation deserves it's praise and high scores for being an original, funny, well animated idea, but this seriously doesn't deserve to be one of the highest rated tracks in the audio portal, when there are FAR more deserving people like NemesisTheory and Paragon. I myself wouldn't even consider this music.

Maybe you should just add a download link for this in the animation or something, since I know there's really nothing you can do about people rating this a 5 because of the animation. I just find it a shame that this is being carried to the tops of the Audio ratings by the animation it was in, especially considering it really isn't even music.

5/10 JUST FOR THE SONG ITSELF, all it is is vocals tied to a beat, but a 10/10 for the song + animation it was created for. Fitting to the animation, but as it's own song it's not that great.


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Run to Japan Run to Japan

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Addictively catchy

I must say, I'm impressed. Usually music that starts off like this does doesn't keep my attention for very long, but I kept listening to this one, and boy I found a snazzy little track that I'll be listening to for a time to come.

Despite the fact that the song is repetitive, and the transition between the first part and the second part isn't very smooth (fast paced techno-ish feel, one line of drums, then oriental,) I enjoyed every minute of it, although I DO think the first half of the song was much better, personally. It created an intense, fast paced song that would be awesome to listen to while doing, say, parkour, or something similar, where the oriental felt kinda out of place with the drums and other various sound effects at times.

I do agree this would work well as video game music, and if my plate wasn't totally full I would be very willing to collaborate on a game using this music track. Sadly, however, I have too many games in progress right now, and I don't need to be adding another one to the list. :\

If I get some free time, I'll let you know, we can plan some stuff out, maybe get this kickass soundtrack something to go along with it. Until then, you'll have to survive with a 5/5, 10/10, fav, and a download :D
Keep up the good work, I look forward to hearing other tracks from you.

-Froodjakle


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ParagonX9 - Metropolis [8-Bit] ParagonX9 - Metropolis [8-Bit]

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Unexpressably Nostalgiac

..Are you sure you didn't somehow rip this song from a megaman game? D:
This is absolutely amazing. If you hadn't told me before hand I would've thought this was from a classic 8 bit Megaman game.. it's absolutely amazing. It's got the sound, the feel.. I can even picture Megaman running and jumping through a level, shooting at the various enemies that get in his way, all to combat the robot master at the end of it.. And I tell you, this would be an awesome level, if it existed.

Your composition skills are incredible Paragon, I REALLY hope you do more work in 8 bit. Hell, you could single handedly provide music for a Megaman game, and nobody would know the difference between it and a real MM soundtrack. NOBODY I TELL YOU.
It doesn't just sound like megaman, but it sounds, as the person below me said, like pure, pixelated bliss. There is no other way to describe this masterpiece.
5/5, 10/10, fav'd, downloaded, etc.
Excellent job, PLEASE do more 8 bit remixes if you have the time :D I'd love to hear the other masterpieces you could come up with.


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Recent Art Reviews


Sucks to be Luigi: Link+Daisy Sucks to be Luigi: Link+Daisy

Rated 5 / 5 stars

Funny as always!

Do most of you seriously not understand the joke here? Link says he's gay to get Daisy off his back. He's not really gay, he just wants to get away from her.

Anyway, love these comics man, found them a few weeks ago and I've loved them ever since. Can't wait for you to bring out more of them, your art style and humor is fantastic! 5/5, 10/10, looking forward to the next one.


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Music Maker Music Maker

Rated 5 / 5 stars

A whimsical dream.

I have to say, I'm impressed. Your art style is something I haven't seen before. It combines the quirky, dark, whirling feeling of some types of art, but at least in this piece, makes it feel more upbeat, giving it a unique blend of the two worlds, which forms together fabulously into an amazing piece. The only possible flaw I would have for this is a few of the fingers bother me, mostly the pointer finger on the right hand, but aside from that, I can't think of any flaws to this. The textures on the piano keys, the way the art swirls, the darkly cartoonish feel overall.. It looks and feels like a dream. A dream that I would love to encounter.

Fantastic work, 10/10. I'll have to keep an eye on your art.

Also, I'd like to note that I find it impressive that you actually seem to try to reply to every review you get. Most people just don't give a damn, and it's refreshing to see somebody who honestly takes an interest in the comments of the public. Kudos to you for being better than the majority.


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Comick responds:

Wow what a nice review :) I agree on his fingers haha, they got a little too crooked. I'm really glad you connected to the visuals as well, since its was definitely something I was trying to bring out as dark and cartoonish and still have a little upbeat wonder and energy :D So thanks a lot!